Becoming Better at Feeling, Let's Discuss Therapy for Kids
By: Liz Berland, LPC, SEP
Most children go to their parents for help for a variety of reasons. These may be academic, social or emotional as well. However, there are times when a parent isn’t enough. It doesn’t mean you are a “bad” parent, it just means that your child needs more support. You as a parent may need direction or the child needs an objective person to talk to. This is where a therapist comes in. Many people feel that going to a “Mental Health” professional holds a stigma. Seeing a therapist doesn’t mean that the child has a severe diagnosis, but just needs some guidance getting through life.
We live in an age of social media and its intense effect. It has led to a lack of communication skills and social interaction, amongst other issues. We also have lived history in the making through a pandemic with no navigation. These effects and experiences have heightened our emotions without also teaching us the necessary skills to manage these emotions.
As a therapist, I work with very young children through college age. My first priority is to make a connection with the child. This could be talking about things we like to do or playing a game. I feel it is essential to establish a safe environment for the child and to establish myself as a safe person. I must meet the child where they are in their development. I assure them there is no judgment and they are not in trouble. Once that is secure, then we - the child and I - can work together.
Recently, I had a client's mom, who I hadn’t seen in a while, contact me because her very young child was having a difficult moment. The mom tried to help the child but the child asked to speak to Miss Liz. The mom made an appointment immediately and it reaffirmed that therapy with connection does help.
I have helped guide children with issues such as anxiety, depression, anger, social and academic expectations, self esteem, grief and transitions. I have also worked with deeper issues such as addiction, eating disorders, self harm, suicide ideation and trauma in many forms.
Through any and all of these, I focus on the client getting to know their body and nervous system so they can sense the big emotions. They also learn it's okay to feel. Once they acknowledge that, we can work on identifying these emotions and work towards coping skills to help alleviate them before they become overwhelming or out of control. The biggest area I work on is learning to regulate the body when it is dysregulated. These are all building blocks that they can use to guide them as we grow and evolve into adults.
Therapy with children is not just sitting and talking. We dance, listen to music, utilize movement, play games, incorporate art, and other projects. We act out feelings or situations with figures we make. We sometimes replicate the emotions. And we also laugh and learn to become better at feeling, which is a vital life skill that will continue to benefit the child throughout their lifetime.
